"There is no safe word"

[just_cyd]

When I began this crazy concert journey nearly two years ago, I had concerns. driving long distances alone and all that entails, money-worries, that i'd either not get to meet the musician I was trekking to see, or that he'd be a raging asshole and my idealized view of him would be destroyed, and the whole fantasy I'd worked up in my head would be ruined. that didn't happen, and everyone I've met since (a dozen or so musicians) has been equally cool.

Until today, I don't think I realized precisely how ugly it could have been.

I have so, so, so much more I want to say, but exhaustion and weight of this has me unable to form a coherent thought.