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wishful blogging
blathering
Spent the afternoon scribbling down slow cooker and casserole recipes, as if I will suddenly be cooking on the regular. As if I have the budget. (I believe this is the first week THIS YEAR i've made it to payday w/o being in the negative. it's because I didn't go anywhere this weekend, and I got Guilt Money padding the coffers). Everything is outrageous, but eggs are the worst. $8/doz? yikes. regular consumption of red meat might be more economical at this point. I just want to get back to having Options - things in the freezer, things I can make from my pantry, plus a few little treats.
~*~*~*~
I've had Teh Sick for a good three weeks now. Started just about the time Ben came to visit, after having to sleep in my car in a rest stop in the very bitter cold (March 7, Don Dixon et al at WFLR). Also, everything in NC was starting to bloom. While Ben was here, the scratchy throat/laying flat is torture thing started, and was pretty much full-out misery by the time I went back to NC for Darren Jessee's show. It was so bad, I had no voice, and thought I might have pinkeye. yeaaahhh, that's a wildly irresponsible thing to do, infect everyone and their out-of-state girlfriend/mother with that crud. Again, car-sleeping, waking up with eyes gooped shut and coughing up gunk. that was 1.5 weeks ago, and the crud endures. it's lessening a bit, but the sore throat persists, the "is that a fever? how would I know because none of my thermometers register anything" hot/cold shifts hit throughout the day, and I'm just drained. like, lay down after work, sleep until I wake up, then off to bed until 5:50am exhausted. Part of the purpose of this typing nonsense is to stay up until at least 9pm then put myself to bed.
If it's allergies/viral, I have to ride it out, right? but how do I know that is what this is? Expensive urgent care or impossible-to-figure-out-how-to-schedule tele-health?
*~*~*~
Diane had her surgery last Tuesday. I was the Responsible Party, providing transportation since Dad can't drive. We took their car, which has more room than mine for things like dad's rolling walker. Also, it's their gas, not mine. Made dad pay for lunch (for all four of us) and dinner (just me and him) on Tuesday, and then lunch for the four of us on Wednesday. Didn't tell him I was bank-balance negative, just said "i'll pick up if you're buying" and went with that.
None of her kids came to town for this. let me repeat: MY 80 YEAR OLD STEPMOTHER HAD A DOUBLE MASTECTOMY AND NONE OF HER KIDS COULD BE BOTHERED TO BE HERE FOR IT. I strongly suspect she told them not to trouble themselves and their oh-so-important lives, my brother and I would be more than happy to bear the brunt of it. *screams into the void*
They did, however, have no trouble whatsoever making demands like I take over sending texts (dad was too prone to mis-information. I declined to even acknowledge that request), but not before changing the text groups three different times. I purposely replied to the wrong group a couple times just because I could. Petty? ya, you betcha.
I finally learned how to SILENCE those fucking text threads, and am refusing to engage in them now that Diane is home. I'm the only non-apple user, so I get a fresh new text with "[person] [reaction] to [full text of message] EVERY.FUCKING.TIME one of the 13 other people interact, and I'm just over it. how about some INTERACTION? in the form of being a responsible fucking adult?
hilarious aside: ex-SIL A must being studying languages, or is just fucking with everyone. her responses have all been in French or Italian.
J2 and J3 have both sent me money for helping out, $50 total. I'm calling it Guilt Money. Dad gave me $20 cash, which paid for my ticket to Lily's play next month (same weekend as my next trip! eep!) and breakfast at the market with friends. The Market on a budget is not a fun thing! I don't remember coffee being $3.25 for a large, but that's still not awful. just sucks to have all that goodness all around and not be able to get the $12 Breakfast Nachos, plus cake from Lucy's Pastry Palace. (or pierogis. or day-old bagels from Flour. or croissants. or ...)
*~*~*~*~
Managed to get 8 hours of OT on Sunday. that plus the $50 Guilt Money should help make my next trip actually happen. Hotels are already booked - Pay Now and Save rooms because my tax return showed up (!!!) and what's more important that sleeping in an actual bed? Paying bills? nah... but yeah. need to get that figured out. Realized that the bank had stopped my auto-payment on my car loan (oops!) and a couple other bills (double-oops).
I keep getting slammed by the every-other-week mortgage payment. it's coming out at odd times, and that's messing me up big-time. I think that it comes out this coming Monday, and I might be able to get things lined up so I'm back to the "everything is allocated weekly" thing I'd been on way back when. Like, somehow I've got $112 credit with AES, but everything else is behind.
*~*~*~*
Next trip down is Mid-April. first, Friday Night HS play to see Lily in The Wizard of Oz - she's a tree. She gets to throw apples at people. straight from there to WV, because there's lots to do on Saturday. Record Store Day, attending Chris Stamey & orchestra at WFLR, but also need to pop into the yarn shop and drop off donations that have not yet been gathered. meep! Sunday i'm meeting John for breakfast (TBD by weather), then it's off to Carrboro Arts Center for Ordinary Elephant and Wes Collins Band. that's a mid-afternoon show, but I'm staying the night, and driving home Monday. Also tentative plans to drop off donations to the Shalom Project in WSNC, esp if they take new bras. my stupidity is their win!
*~*~*~*
in other other news, ND messaged me unprompted on Sunday with a photo of his great-niece and her lovey. dragging it around by the feet as she climbs over furniture. all the heart eyes! and I had her age wrong - she's just now turning 1, not in December like I thought. No other communication beyond the photo and the confirmation that she's really close to walking (but not yet) is the extent of it. Perhaps all hope is not lost? I'm still positively vibrating with excitement over this, but trying so very hard to be chill.
*~*~*~
mission:accomplished. 9:30ish pm.
Spent the afternoon scribbling down slow cooker and casserole recipes, as if I will suddenly be cooking on the regular. As if I have the budget. (I believe this is the first week THIS YEAR i've made it to payday w/o being in the negative. it's because I didn't go anywhere this weekend, and I got Guilt Money padding the coffers). Everything is outrageous, but eggs are the worst. $8/doz? yikes. regular consumption of red meat might be more economical at this point. I just want to get back to having Options - things in the freezer, things I can make from my pantry, plus a few little treats.
~*~*~*~
I've had Teh Sick for a good three weeks now. Started just about the time Ben came to visit, after having to sleep in my car in a rest stop in the very bitter cold (March 7, Don Dixon et al at WFLR). Also, everything in NC was starting to bloom. While Ben was here, the scratchy throat/laying flat is torture thing started, and was pretty much full-out misery by the time I went back to NC for Darren Jessee's show. It was so bad, I had no voice, and thought I might have pinkeye. yeaaahhh, that's a wildly irresponsible thing to do, infect everyone and their out-of-state girlfriend/mother with that crud. Again, car-sleeping, waking up with eyes gooped shut and coughing up gunk. that was 1.5 weeks ago, and the crud endures. it's lessening a bit, but the sore throat persists, the "is that a fever? how would I know because none of my thermometers register anything" hot/cold shifts hit throughout the day, and I'm just drained. like, lay down after work, sleep until I wake up, then off to bed until 5:50am exhausted. Part of the purpose of this typing nonsense is to stay up until at least 9pm then put myself to bed.
If it's allergies/viral, I have to ride it out, right? but how do I know that is what this is? Expensive urgent care or impossible-to-figure-out-how-to-schedule tele-health?
*~*~*~
Diane had her surgery last Tuesday. I was the Responsible Party, providing transportation since Dad can't drive. We took their car, which has more room than mine for things like dad's rolling walker. Also, it's their gas, not mine. Made dad pay for lunch (for all four of us) and dinner (just me and him) on Tuesday, and then lunch for the four of us on Wednesday. Didn't tell him I was bank-balance negative, just said "i'll pick up if you're buying" and went with that.
None of her kids came to town for this. let me repeat: MY 80 YEAR OLD STEPMOTHER HAD A DOUBLE MASTECTOMY AND NONE OF HER KIDS COULD BE BOTHERED TO BE HERE FOR IT. I strongly suspect she told them not to trouble themselves and their oh-so-important lives, my brother and I would be more than happy to bear the brunt of it. *screams into the void*
They did, however, have no trouble whatsoever making demands like I take over sending texts (dad was too prone to mis-information. I declined to even acknowledge that request), but not before changing the text groups three different times. I purposely replied to the wrong group a couple times just because I could. Petty? ya, you betcha.
I finally learned how to SILENCE those fucking text threads, and am refusing to engage in them now that Diane is home. I'm the only non-apple user, so I get a fresh new text with "[person] [reaction] to [full text of message] EVERY.FUCKING.TIME one of the 13 other people interact, and I'm just over it. how about some INTERACTION? in the form of being a responsible fucking adult?
hilarious aside: ex-SIL A must being studying languages, or is just fucking with everyone. her responses have all been in French or Italian.
J2 and J3 have both sent me money for helping out, $50 total. I'm calling it Guilt Money. Dad gave me $20 cash, which paid for my ticket to Lily's play next month (same weekend as my next trip! eep!) and breakfast at the market with friends. The Market on a budget is not a fun thing! I don't remember coffee being $3.25 for a large, but that's still not awful. just sucks to have all that goodness all around and not be able to get the $12 Breakfast Nachos, plus cake from Lucy's Pastry Palace. (or pierogis. or day-old bagels from Flour. or croissants. or ...)
*~*~*~*~
Managed to get 8 hours of OT on Sunday. that plus the $50 Guilt Money should help make my next trip actually happen. Hotels are already booked - Pay Now and Save rooms because my tax return showed up (!!!) and what's more important that sleeping in an actual bed? Paying bills? nah... but yeah. need to get that figured out. Realized that the bank had stopped my auto-payment on my car loan (oops!) and a couple other bills (double-oops).
I keep getting slammed by the every-other-week mortgage payment. it's coming out at odd times, and that's messing me up big-time. I think that it comes out this coming Monday, and I might be able to get things lined up so I'm back to the "everything is allocated weekly" thing I'd been on way back when. Like, somehow I've got $112 credit with AES, but everything else is behind.
*~*~*~*
Next trip down is Mid-April. first, Friday Night HS play to see Lily in The Wizard of Oz - she's a tree. She gets to throw apples at people. straight from there to WV, because there's lots to do on Saturday. Record Store Day, attending Chris Stamey & orchestra at WFLR, but also need to pop into the yarn shop and drop off donations that have not yet been gathered. meep! Sunday i'm meeting John for breakfast (TBD by weather), then it's off to Carrboro Arts Center for Ordinary Elephant and Wes Collins Band. that's a mid-afternoon show, but I'm staying the night, and driving home Monday. Also tentative plans to drop off donations to the Shalom Project in WSNC, esp if they take new bras. my stupidity is their win!
*~*~*~*
in other other news, ND messaged me unprompted on Sunday with a photo of his great-niece and her lovey. dragging it around by the feet as she climbs over furniture. all the heart eyes! and I had her age wrong - she's just now turning 1, not in December like I thought. No other communication beyond the photo and the confirmation that she's really close to walking (but not yet) is the extent of it. Perhaps all hope is not lost? I'm still positively vibrating with excitement over this, but trying so very hard to be chill.
*~*~*~
mission:accomplished. 9:30ish pm.