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can. you. not
Feb. 4th, 2025 12:04 amI did an oops at the show Saturday night. Didn't think it was a HUGE deal at the time. then after the show I found out it WAS a big deal, and I'm going to spend the rest of forever berating myself for it.
I sat front and center at the show. I had to look UP to see the singer, and mostly I could see up his nose and the roof of his mouth when he sang. I could've futzed with his mic stand if i'd been so inclined. the band included a drum kit, so I think the stage was set deeper than normal to accommodate that. That meant to get the same number of rows of chairs in, they were smashed up against the stage. I hate seeing the whole first row empty, and honestly thought others would fill in with me.
talking after the show, my presence front and center made him nervous, like, having to focus on not messing up nervous. fuck.
it wasn't the only flub of the night. while tuning up for a particular song, he mentioned channeling his inner Elvis Costello, including wanting to shave his beard for just the one song, and someone shouted "so that means your wife is ..." and immediately a dark cloud passed over his face, just a flash, and there was brief hiccup in his tuning while he composed himself. not sure anyone else caught it, but I did. talking after the show, he also said that things started falling apart about 5 songs from the end ... the one where this interaction happened. double fuck.
partway home, I replied to a msg I'd started with another band member, and brought up that interaction, asking if he could gauge how it affected him overall. He said he cringed inwardly at that insensitive comment, and would absolutely check things out. good man, he is.
Why why why am I like this?!
I sat front and center at the show. I had to look UP to see the singer, and mostly I could see up his nose and the roof of his mouth when he sang. I could've futzed with his mic stand if i'd been so inclined. the band included a drum kit, so I think the stage was set deeper than normal to accommodate that. That meant to get the same number of rows of chairs in, they were smashed up against the stage. I hate seeing the whole first row empty, and honestly thought others would fill in with me.
talking after the show, my presence front and center made him nervous, like, having to focus on not messing up nervous. fuck.
it wasn't the only flub of the night. while tuning up for a particular song, he mentioned channeling his inner Elvis Costello, including wanting to shave his beard for just the one song, and someone shouted "so that means your wife is ..." and immediately a dark cloud passed over his face, just a flash, and there was brief hiccup in his tuning while he composed himself. not sure anyone else caught it, but I did. talking after the show, he also said that things started falling apart about 5 songs from the end ... the one where this interaction happened. double fuck.
partway home, I replied to a msg I'd started with another band member, and brought up that interaction, asking if he could gauge how it affected him overall. He said he cringed inwardly at that insensitive comment, and would absolutely check things out. good man, he is.
Why why why am I like this?!
