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today was rough. all that came spewing forth after hotel breakfast and much needed sleep, interrupted by my belly and then my back/hip, both angry and screaming.

After that brain-dump, i was back in bed, calculating precisely how late I could put off things and still get to the club in time. Shower skipped, hair just barely tended to. lunch/dinner was cheese and crackers, harvest crisps, and M&Ms in the car. a pretty gnarly wreck slowed me down, but I still walked into the club before 7pm. in fact, I walked right into Zach and Matt! lovely conversation with them. Zach is always so genuinely happy to see me - an appreciation of my dedication to supporting them, nothing more.

Things are looking up.

is it like how they pump oxygen into casinos to keep everyone fueled? There's something about entering a music venue that seems to turn things around for me. Or is it that I can check out of reality for bit? whatever it is, I need it like a drug.

Django Haskins was amazing. he's got a song called Existential Seamstress. and, like all NC Musicians, he's just as warm and kind and everything else.

I grabbed some water and found a seat against the wall. I didn't get up for Darren's set, but should have. He saw me earlier, half smile of acknowledgement. his hair's getting long, and he did his set w/o his usual baseball hat. receding hairline, yeah, but no bald spot on top that I could see. It was nice to see his face while he sang.

pain was creeping up on me, halfway through Freedy Johnston's set require I stand, change positions. It also allowed me to drink more water. January in NC is seriously messed up, and 70s will mess you up good. Saw Darren and his friends at the bar, mental note, and hobbled back to stand closer to the stage and watch what happened next.

Freedy mostly took requests, which i've never encountered at a show.

bailed early. too much pain, but probably only a few songs early. it was raining steady, and the hobble to the parking deck got me good and soaked. I was in the very first spot in, but remembered the exit, so climbed a few levels to get the full effect of the tight circular exit. my own downward spiral

tomorrow I have to change hotels, moving from this nice Quality Suites in Graham to that Econo Lodge off I-40 in Durham, paid for with points, chosen as much for its affordability as its rating. Not terribly close to Wake Forest, but closer than Graham.

I know I'm tired, but I can feel the beginning of the descent into the pit of despair. Hoping to find a way to stave that off tomorrow, as I'll have a minimum of 4 hours to kill between hotels, and very little funds to work with. I have $50 set aside for gas for the drive home, and tonight's Waffle House splurge pretty much eliminated any other dining out. lots of snacks, a can of soup, and whatever I can score from hotel breakfast.
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You'd think with the bonus day, I could manage to fit in a concert in February? No such luck. March, however, is going to make up for it!

The venue
The Grey Eagle is in the River Arts District of Asheville, and southwest of the main city center. It's an older area of industrial buildings, mid-1900s homes, and gentrification and development. I got to town early enough that I scoped out the location in advance, and I'm glad I did. The un-widened roads that wound around up and down the hilly landscape made it pretty clear that parking, while free, was at a premium, and my offhanded thought of "I could just take a rideshare" would be the way to go.

It's a single story cement building that could have been pretty much anything in a past life. Accessibility was the norm for this type of building: maybe one step up to get in (minus the gravel parking lot), room enough to get in, make the turn to the hall leading to the music room and restrooms. The bar would be harder to navigate for someone in a chair, but the place wasn't so packed that no one could move. There was a steeper transition from the bar to the music hall than I was prepared to encounter (multiple times. klutz), which makes me think that the beautiful wood floor (or perhaps that whole section) had been added at a later date.

The bar & restaurant
the bar offered the usual local brews, with some wine and liquor, along with a fair selection of NA drinks (bottled root beer and mineral water were my two picks), plus giant dispensers of ice water on opposite ends of the room. You can tell I don't get out much if I find this a nice perk. They also run a taqueria, but the kitchen closes at 9, and I missed the chance to try it out.

The staff was all friendly, there was lots of outdoor space, the restrooms were clean and spacious (and not right next to the stage). The place had a great vibe, and I'd see another show there for sure, and get there extra early to get a bite to eat, too.

Darren Jessee
Darren and Zach were fresh off a show the night before in Atlanta, also opening for Chatham County Line. I ran into Zach in passing, and while I saw Darren in the bar, he was talking to a couple (his producer Alan, I think) and didn't see me, and we never connected after that. CCL's steel pedal player sat in on about half the songs, which was a cool twist. The volume balance seemed off, though, and the pedal steel got lost a bit at times. His set was shorter than normal by a couple songs, and he cut one song short. I think the crowd on the far side was giving him shit, and he was having none of it. First he said "Stay with me, folks," and then a minute or so later he shot back "Hey, you bought the ticket" to someone. Ouch. He did NOT play his brand new single, and I wonder if the decision was made based on the crowd?

Chatham County Line
I knew nothing about these guys going in, except what I'd read on the "about" section of the ticket purchase page. Clearly, everyone in Asheville knows about these guys, and they were ready to rock stomp. Joke's on them hecklers, though: Darren played drums with CCL! From what I gather, having a drummer is a new thing for the band, and while someone else had drumming credits on their most recent album,, I wonder if Darren is taking over for the tour? He has done gig/tour drumming for many different bands, so it's not out of the question. Anyway, it was a thrill for me, as I've never seen him on the drums before. soft-spoken acoustic guitarist to cymbal-smashing beast in just 20 minutes!

The band proper consisted of Dave Wilson on lead vocals/guitar/harmonica, John Teer on mandolin/banjo/fiddle plus harmonies, and Greg Readling on upright bass, the aforementioned pedal steel, and harmonies. three part harmony? I'm in! John Teer was probably the standout of the three, killing it on a fiddle bit that turned into a solo while the rest of the band got a break off-stage, to the intro to another song. just enough of the "show-off" to reel everyone in, but not so arrogant as to be off-putting. Dave Wilson had this really cool way of getting his guitars on/off around his 10 gallon hat that looked like a magic trick.

Getting there
I scheduled my Lyft once I got to my hotel, and the 5.5 mile drive cost $22 plus tip. I waited less than 10 minutes for the return Lyft, and it was $14 plus tip. (Uber doesn't have the ability to schedule a ride in advance, and I've great luck/service with Lyft)
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I can't just call this concert travel this year, since two of the events already booked are book-related (har har).

First up is Mike Garrigan opening for Nikki Meets the Hibachi at the Eno Artists Den in Hillsborough, NC. Found an airbnb near the venue, too! Currently on my second listen-through of Semigloss Albatross, and I'm kicking myself for not diving deeper into his stuff earlier. I'll be buying & downloading that album shortly. It's all melancholy piano/vocals and I am just blown away by the emotion in the simplicity.

[And no, I will not be going to Darren's show on Jan 19th in Carrboro. Something about it doesn't sit right (college town, limited parking, not thrilled with the headliner), and let's face it, I'm a bit salty that I can't find ticket info online. The venue's site has nothing, the headliner's got not much, and Darren's site hasn't been updated in over a month (the 10/17 Greensboro show is still listed. Dude, you NEED me!). Hoping like hell he's got other shows planned. I'm sure he will. He better!]

Events #2 & #3 are both for the release of Tom Maxwell's A Really Strange and Wonderful Time, his book about the Chapel Hill music scene 1989-1999. First I'll be going to the event at Flyleaf Books, and then two weeks later I'll be attending the event at the Wake Forest Listening Room. That's actually the first thing I booked! Pretty much as soon as it was announced back in November I got my ticket, because by golly I do NOT want to miss this! And having met Mike, the owner of WFLR, I wanted to check the place out now that he's been able to reopen it.

The Flyleaf event is also the day after Darren's birthday. Not going to pester him, but I'll be in his neighborhood and love to buy him a drink or something, but he doesn't respond to messages, so *shrug*. Trying to decide if/how to let Zach know I'll be in his town at the end of the month, but again, I don't want to be That Girl, the overly-excited groupie that won't leave them alone. I'm driving halfway down after work, staying in WV/VA, and staying the one night in NC, so it's not like I can spend another day in town - I don't have the money for a 3rd night. I'm pushing it as it is. But it'd be great to see one or both of them outside of the pre/post show busyness. I'd really like to resume my conversation with Darren on writing, and with Zach on how on earth he got from WI to NC.
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If envy is green, and sadness is blue, and anger is red, what is despair? Lonliness? Jealous rage that you have no business harboring but you do anyway because on the scale of Elsa to Javert, you make him looks like a well-adjusted member of society.

What color is the emptiness of holding onto things that you hope will be, maybe, someday, despite all evidence to the contrary? I've spent 2023 living my best life, but there's still a chasm inside me.

"Will that be enough
when you get what you want
Will that be enough
Will you be alright
If you let me go"

Darren Jessee asks in his song Will That Be Enough (Central Bridge 2023, Bar/None Records)

But what if you don't know what you want? You head towards something, and you start getting close, and realize "nope, not this. Not now."? Then what? I'm awash in a sea of dishwater grey and dull beige, not enough bold enough to be the puke brown you get when you mix all the colors together. So much is missing, there's no color to stand out.

I'm dragging my feet on some things, barging ahead in other things, putting my eggs in the wrong baskets and hoping like hell I can somehow limp through another month of dodging overdue bills and avoiding rage-quitting my job while somehow finding a new therapist & psychiatrist and then convincing them that the meds are maybe not working so well after all because who in their right, adequately-medicated mind would be suffering the brain weasels and dark thoughts that never.go.away.

Lack of ticket info has me reluctant to make he trek to Carrboro for Darren's Jan 19th show, and lack of funds pretty much cements it. But there are two events in April i will be attending, and I wonder if this time will be the time I just don't come back?
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fun part about being a nerd is quantifying things.

Spreadsheets!
Concerts 2023 Month Miles
Ben Folds - Cincinnati OH - April - 139 miles
Darren Jessee - Durham NC - April - 1,131 miles
Natalie Merchant - Cincinnati OH - May - 128 miles
Ben Folds - Dayton OH - July - 16 miles
Darren Jessee - Catskill NY - July - 1,469 miles
Better Than Ezra - Cincinnati OH - August - 132 miles
Darren Jessee - Greensboro NC - October - 932 miles
Darren Jessee - Asheville NC - November - 910 miles
Darren Jessee - Tucker GA - December - 1,124 miles
total concert miles for 2023 = 5,981
5566 miles were for Darren, the rest were in Ohio.

I've driven just about 10,000 miles this year total, so more than half of what I've driven has been for concerts.

which reminds me, time for another oil change before I even consider making the trip to Carrboro in January...
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I'm not going to separate my venue review for this show, because the Moody Motel is a private residence! It's been a decade or two since I've been to a house concert, but they are increasingly popular with the small bands I'm seeing on all the socials. the hosts were fantastic, the event was in their front room, with room to move about in the kitchen and living room behind, so accessibility would've only been an issue had we arrived super-late and had to park far away. Lights were dim in the front and back rooms, with lots of candles (most electric) and other dim lighting to set the mood. I spied a kitty at one point, who was clearly not a fan of the crowd.

A house concert is nothing like a show at a bar. We were greeted by Jill, who welcomed us warmly and shared my joke about our mothers haunting us if we didn't do right as hostess and guest (her showing us around, and me producing the baked goods and beer to be shared). I'd been commenting on the Instagram posts, so once the word "cookies" was sounded, several people approached me to say hi and confirm i really DID drive in all the way from Ohio. A few were shocked to hear this was my 5th show of the year. One guy, Lance, pulled me aside and asked how I found out about Darren's shows, as he's yet to figure out how to get the info to come to him. I told him I stalk IG/FB and his website, but that the summer shows first appeared on Spotify. I joked that I was going to demand Darren let me take over his social media, but I wasn't 100% kidding.

The vibe was nice and chill, and eventually I saw Darren and Zach and waved hello, figuring we'd chat at some point. Many people were meeting them for the first time, and let's face it, we're old friends by now. heh. Ben was rather subdued, but introduced himself around, and the "where do you live?" game was played. He lives by a drive-in theater on the south side of town, which everyone immediately knew of. It was that or use the uber-racist name for the neighborhood. Eventually someone recognized his Pedro t-shirt du jour, and the two of them launched into Pedro-talk for quite a while.

At one point, Darren approached me and began talking about the book I'd given him, and how some friends of his spoke highly of her, and how much he enjoyed it. He's got such a soft voice that he's hard to hear in loud rooms, but it was a lovely conversation. He'd read Al Jolson, and talked about the chimp/gorilla that lied, and compared it to his line "I'm the boy who fell in and got the gorilla killed" -- the actual meaning being doing something for one reason but it having vastly different (bad) consequences. I chided him for the Harambe reference and confessed I have a very hard time seeing past the literal meaning of that line. I spoke a bit about how Hempel is the reason I write, and have been writing since I was a teen, and the challenges I have writing fiction. As always, there wasn't enough time, and he got pulled away by someone else.

Lance, another super-fan, had a box full of albums he wanted Darren to sign, but did not have with him the three that were for sale. He asked if I had paypal; I do. Then he asked if I had Venmo. I do. Darren was accepting Venmo (that's new), but Lance only had PayPal, so he asked if he could PayPal me the $$ for the albums, and I make the purchase via Venmo. I agreed. we completed the transaction, and I put in the note "for Lance, i promise!" and made him go tell Darren, so Darren wouldn't get mad at me. That was the first time I've ever seen Darren with his phone out, and it was just long enough to see the transaction, and then it was back into his pocket. an aside -- the cash price for his albums has always been $20. This is the first I've seen him take venmo, and I was happy to see the price increase, if only to cover the transaction fees associated with digital payments.

Then out of nowhere, Jay Gonzalez started playing. The show was a sell-out (40 people) and it got a little tight as we all moved forward to better hear and see. at one point, Jay had a tiny keyboard (smaller than a melodica) strapped to his guitar and was playing both. crazy. He didn't sound anything like Drive By Truckers, but I didn't hate it. after one song, he quipped "I'd always wanted to write a bosa nova about cunnilinguis" and the crowd lost it.

Eventually Darren and Zach took the floor, and Ben and I moved over to the side, on their right, to have a better view. I know that Darren often turns to look at Zach while playing, and when he plays his keyboard he'd be facing us, and that's what I wanted. Going into the show he was very calm and relaxed. He'd had a beer or two, and he really seemed to be vibing. At one point, he said "Zach, it's too quiet. Can someone grab something off a shelf and break it?" and we all chuckled. none of the bar background noise, no people coming and going, no TVs or loud conversations, just 40 people focused on the music. Some where there for Darren or Jay; others were there because they'd attended prior events and loved the atmosphere. either way, we all wanted to be there. Ben commented later that a few times Darren looked very please with himself, like he'd hit a chord/note just right, and had that look of bliss when things just line up perfectly. I have to agree. He got a little funky with the phrasing in a few songs which was nice to hear, loosening up a bit. Zach didn't have a microphone, so his harmonies weren't nearly as prominent, but he still added a lot to it. He played a song or two I'd not heard him play this year, but still no Wild Ascending Blue. I need to ask him about that; I'm guessing there's just not room in the Subaru for a 2nd acoustic guitar?

After the show we got to chat with Zach, and someone asked how he and Darren got connected. Zach had been hired to be a guitar tech for Hiss Golden Messenger when Darren was playing drums, and they toured together. sometiem after that, Darren called him up. Zach is in his own band, Canine Heart Sounds, where he plays keys and guitar and drums, plus sings. We talked with others that we hadn't seen prior to the show, and had many a good laugh with other fans. it was also quite apparent that the crowd was pretty queer-leaning, and the Moodys were queer-friendly. they had a rainbow flag in the main room with the words "abide no hatred" and the sign on the bathroom door was the one with "whatever, just wash your hands" on it. Ben loved it.

I'd told Ben prior to the show that his mission, if he was up for it, was to get a pic of me with Darren. I've never bothered to even ask up until now, but figured I could make my friend be The Bad Guy :) so finally, I have proof that I've met Darren Fucking Jessee. Ben only took the one shot, and Darren was mid-blink, but that's OK, there's other photos, and it was a perfect way to end the night.
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I've already covered the nightmare that was the drive home from Asheville, so let's talk about the drive down, and the show itself.

First off, I had a side quest: I detoured to Frankfort KY to meet Theresa at 9720! She's one of my regulars at work, and she likes me (others think she's mean?!), and it wasn't too far off my route. completely surprised her, which was fantastic. we chatted for a bit, she sneakily paid for my snacks, and then I was back on the road. I'd passed Buffalo Trace Distillery on the way in, so I texted my friends that I was stopping by, and to get their requests in. They graciously offered up a golf card lift from the main entrance (ID checked and wristband given) to the gift shop, which was much appreciated. I picked up a bottle of bourbon cream for Beth, a bottle of regular bourbon just because, and some mini bottles for holiday fill-ins. another quick cart ride took me right to my car, and then I was on the road east then south, headed for Knoxville, where I'd head east for real to get to Asheville.

These two stops took a little longer than planned, but they weren't terrible. That said, I wasn't really keeping tabs on time too closely. Hit some traffic as I got into Knoxville, and when I started heading east, there was a section a ways off that was on fire. I repeat: THERE WAS A FIRE NEARISH TO THE HIGHWAY. gulp. add some lane-shifting and construction, and things were a bit more spicy than I like. Nearly got rear-ended by a work van, some dude apparently flooring it while I maintained a steady pace. On I-40, just after crossing into NC, things got extra-spicy: Smoke warnings, and actual wildfires. I did NOT have these on my road trip bingo card. The Black Bear fire had been sparked the day prior when a semi crashed on WB I-40, and the fire was spreading through the deeply parched forest and was up to the edge of the highway. it was also on top of the tunnels at Snowbird mountain. The interstate is only two lanes each direction, so when we hit construction and lane closures, thngs slowed down BAD. Twice. There may have been tears when I wasn't moving, but watching my arrival time get later and later.

I did, eventually, get to my hotel just as it got dark: 5:30pm. Doors were at 6, show was at 7, and I hate to be late. Checked in, took the fastest shower ever, got dressed and made my way to downtown Asheville. The dark and the very three-dimensional terrain made navigating hard, but I eventually found the parking garage and, on a hunch, got a handicap spot in the "full" lot. was able to waddle the 1.5 blocks to the venue, despite still being very tightly wound from the white-knuckle driving of the prior couple hours. I loved everything about the place. I didn't immediately see Zach or Darren, but with only 5 minutes until showtime, I spotted D and said hello, letting him know I had something for him and I'd see him after the show.

You see, at some point in the drive, I decided that $30 bottle of bourbon would be going to Darren, along with the Amy Hempel book I'd mentioned in Greensboro.

I got a drink (sparkling water) and sat in the back/center, hoping to both have an unobstructed view, and to not be in anyone's way with my giant bag and cane and whatnot. the seats were mostly full when Julie Odell took the stage (bandcamp | Instagram). She's another soft-spoken but beautiful acoustic singer/songwriter, and this was another show where I just wanted to close my eyes and just let the music wash over me. I was too stressed about dropping my drink or knocking my cane over, and knew D&Z were behind me, so I tried to stay as zen as I could.

About her third song, her daughter came down from the upper level, walked up beside the first row of seats, and silently showed off something she'd drawn in a small notebook. to the girl's credit, she didn't make any noise or cause a huge distraction, and to Julie's credit, she acknowledged her daughter without stopping her song or otherwise acting disrupted or put out. In face, she didn't mention it at all until she referenced her daughter at a later point.

Julie had one song that she couldn't get going right, so she got frustrated and moved on to the next. that next song is the one I fell in love with, and of course it's not on an album and I don't know the name. but he's recording soon (now?) and that will be included.

Not quite an hour into it, Julie was done and it was time for Darren to take the stage. All along people had continued to come in and find seats, and I found an older couple sitting in front of me, with his head blocking out Zach completely, and causing me to lean a bit to the right to see Darren in between them. turns out, that was Darren's producer Alan Weatherhead! I think D was a bit flustered by that, but he did announce his special guest from the stage and we all applauded as we should. They played their usual/basic set, but I noticed D was getting a bit more creative on the phrasing in a couple songs, like he's letting his hair down a bit. I like it.

After the show, I immediately said out loud "well, that was worth the drive" and Alan's wife/partner turned around and asked where I'd driven from. "Dayton, Ohio" was my reply, at which Alan turned around and a lovely conversation began. the usual shock from them, moreso when they learned it was Show #4 for me. they were further surprised to learn I'd only been following him for about 18 months. They told me about Madison, IN, a cute little river town across from Louisville that's worth checking out. They got up to talk to Darren, and I found Zach and talked to him. We discussed t-day plans and how he bleeds green and yellow for his beloved green bay packers. Bought Julie's album and had a discussion with two employees about my trek to see Darren play all over. it's a hell of a conversation starter. Ran into Julie in the restroom as her daughter quite literally climbed the walls, and discovered the dumbwaiter in the handicap stall.

When we came out, they'd damn near had the place shut down, just before 9pm. Darren was tearing down and distracted, so I asked where his stuff was that I could put the bag. He looked a bit annoyed and said "just give it to me" so I pulled out the Buffalo Trace bag and carefully handed it over. "there was a side quest on the way here. The book is in there, too" I said as his eyes jumped wide open and he stammered a reply. "take care, I'll see y'all in two weeks!" I chirped as I waddled out.

Stopped at a speedway on the way back to the hotel for dinner, since my room had a fridge and microwave, climbed into bed, and tried to find my alternate route home. also tried to sleep, knowing it'd be a rough drive home.
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like many of my friends, I just realized that Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK. and I have TOMORROW to prepare for my trip to Asheville. whoops.

Nausea returned and has kept me down, so now I'm all panic/freak/stress.I did,at least, figure out how to pair my phone with this old logitech bluetooth keyboard, so typing on the fly will be easier, and I'm not spending $$ on a toy I truly don't need.

*~*~*~*~*
Went on a limb and asked D if I could buy him and Z lunch on Saturday. If they're still in town, that is. who knows. I'll invite them to thanksgiving, too, if the convo steers that way. am I crazy? yeah, you betcha.

*~*~*~*~
Ben has covid. I've already told him that he is allowed to cancel my visit at any point, full stop. covid + end of semester + trip to visit tiktok hottie (which was already booked before I invited myself to crash) is a LOT to take on at once. I'm the most reasonable thing to cut.

*~*~*~
work continues to suck. There was a job posting yesterday that is the next logical step in the "career progression" but this morning it had vanished. So I emailed the hiring mgr. updated my career stuff in workday. notified my boss as I'm required to, since the jerk dragged his feet on getting my pay grade corrected and now nothing can be done until HR planning is over. fucker. Still need to puolish up that resume with my Mad Skillz and get it out there. not excited about haing to go back into the office (any office), but more money and less suckage would be a good thing. and, tbh, i might be going a bit feral. idk.

~*~*~*~*
ok, love this keyboard. sucks the tablet is dead, but being to type on real keys on my phone is fabulous!! maybe i'll be able to use this more and help keep the brain weasels calm. so much in these brainz. must get it all out! going to charge this baby up and maybe take her along to Asheville.
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A couple months ago, I posted about my NY trip, and had an asterisk with "more on this later" in the tale. Well that situation keeps popping up, so I guess it's time to hash it out.

I was a bit perturbed that I learned about Darren's NY shows from Spotify, not any of his socials. In fact, it took a couple days before any of it hit his socials. The venues may have announced them before he did. Then, I got back from NY and knew he was playing AVLfest that first weekend in August, but couldn't find ANY details. it was like the day before that he finally shared he was playing Thursday evening, basically the first shows of the fest (multiple venues), so if you didn't know he was going to be there, you had literally NO warning or time to get there.

AVLfest was pretty much out for me, as the wristbands were $100, plus getting there and staying there and all that. Didn't know at first they'd have shuttles around town, so even just getting around felt like it'd be too much for me.

in the midst of all this, all I could think was "he needs someone to handle his social media. he needs ME to handle his social media!" I've mentioned his poor social-media communication to a couple friends, and they have both said he could benefit from my mad skillz. Given things Darren said in his show last weekend, and in an old interview (back when MySpace was a thing), he really dislikes being on the computer/phone.

Jo is curious how I could leverage SalesForce to manage bands (she's a SalesForce administrator) and Ben says he would greatly benefit from my organizational skills. I laugh at that, as I look at the state of my house, but at the same time, I'm once again working as an event planner for a friend, and kickin' butt and takin' names to boot.

No idea what/how to charge for something like this. I do know that when I approach him, I'll have done my homework. my dream would be to also work the merch table at shows and in general free him up to do what he loves to do (play/write music) while ensuring he keeps up a social presence so he's not lost to oblivion.

So yes, I've been mulling this over for months. and yes, I think there'll be an email going out to him soon.
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Although I'd bought the ticket a month earlier, I didn't decide to attend Darren's Greensboro show until a couple nights before. It was a mad scramble to figure out accommodations (first place I booked canceled on me), the ticket (my physical ticket never arrived), and paying for it, but in the end, it all worked out.

I was on the road at 7:15am just as a torrential downpour hit. Not cool. It let up as I headed southeast out of Dayton, and it was rainy/misty until I hit WV. I remembered to not gawk too much once I crossed the state line, but failed to bring cash for the WV Turnpike tolls; they'll let you through, but you'll pay a $5 penalty PER TOLLBOOTH for failing to pay. ouch. I will be getting that EZpass.

Virginia bought the beginning of the gorgeous fall colors, and heavy fog. loved the former, terrified by the latter. Turns out NOT being able to see what's over the guardrails is worse than being able to see the drop-offs and whatnot. This is also roughly where I lose my signal, which includes my GPS and streaming music. hooray for downloaded tunes!

my Airbnb was lovely, a large room with ensuite bath in a first-floor apartment just south of downtown. It was maybe five minutes to the venue/parking.

As I was approaching the venue, I saw Darren and Zach crossing the street, but was too far away to catch them. So I went on in to the bar, grabbed a drink, and caught them by surprise when they came in a few minutes later. They both seemed happy/surprised to see me, and once again Darren told me I shouldn't be making the drive. They still had to write up their set list, so they got down to business and texted a friend.

They were both a lot more relaxed than when I saw them in Catskill, which was good to see. I can only guess the sort of pre-gaming they took part in, or maybe just being so close to home took the pressure off. they had virtually no room to move on the tiny stage packed with the headliner's gear, but Darren rolled with it, joking that they were going to forego the whole setup and just stick to guitar and keys. They opened with Anything You Need, and played at least 3 Hotel Lights songs. When no one really reacted to that band name, he joked that they were really good, and we should look them up. I tried to yell "their lead singer is hot!!" but couldn't get it to come out. He also mentioned having his albums for sale, or buying them online, on your phone, to listen to, on your phone... (no, Darren, tell us how you really feel). He flubbed the beginning of one of his older songs, and just rolled with it, starting over and laughing it off.

After the show, we did get to chat a bit. He asked what other bands I'd seen lately (HS Marching Bands and Better than Ezra), and we laughed about me re-living the 90s. I told him I'd be at his Atlanta show for sure, bringing a friend, and he let me know it's a house concert. "oh, cool, I like house concerts" I told him. he was surprised i'd heard of them, let alone been to one. As I was leaving, I remembered I had a book for him in my car - Amy Hempel's Collected Stories. Told him I was too tired to go fetch it, and he said I should just bring it to Atlanta.

Tickets for Asheville and Atlanta have been purchased, now to figure out the rest!
just_cyd: (Default)
I bought the ticket for the show, but the rest of the trip isn't going to happen unless a miracle occurs. Still don't have the full damage, but I know it's not pretty.

Dan seemed interested in going, but even with sharing expenses, I doubt it'll work out and not make things worse.

Adulting sucks.
just_cyd: (weird)
One of those traits (annoying or telling, you decide) I've had since childhood is the need to make lists and catalog things, and to do it in such exacting detail that it's all but impossible to maintain.

Of all of those various lists and catalogings, I find occasionally that I really DO want to know how on earth I ended up at a particular website/article/book/song. You see, my friends and I like a bit of a sport with one-upping one another with the weird and wacky, and sometimes my contributions are so far out in left field that I have to cite my sources or, rather, show how I got there.

With books, I finally created tags in Goodreads that say "rec-xxxxx" for the person or source (NPR) of the book. Because with 1400 books marked as "want to read" I need to know WHY I want to read this, too.

FUN FACT: I began logging the books I read back in February 1995 while working at a Casino in Atlantic City, NJ. They told me to bring a book when they hired me, as there was a lot of down time. Cashiers and bartenders would swap books, but I found I'd get partway through a book only to realize I'd already read it. So out came the little hardback notebook, and The List began. 100 books read between Feb 1995 and July 1996. Yep, I had a lot of down time.

Lately, it's music that is the Big Thing, and I have no real way of documenting how I find these people, at least not easily. So, here is the Quick and Dirty Daisy Chain Of Rabbit Holes that Led Me to Getting a Facebook Post Liked By Mike Garrigan:

1 Ben Folds Five --> 2 Hotel Lights --> 3 Darren Jessee --> 4 Nic Brown --> 5 Athenaeum --> 6 Mark Kano --> 7 Mike Garrigan

Simple, eh? No? OK, let me explain:

1-3
Last August, I was still working in the office full-time, in an office with a door I kept shut (bliss!). I needed music to keep my brain happy, so spotify was my friend. I got a hankering for Ben Folds Five, so I dug into their catalog and re-discovered their awesomeness. Dug into YouTube as well, and at the end of the Ben Folds Five - Live at UNC Memorial Hall, 2008 ('Front to Back' Reunion), Ben introduces the drummer as "Darren Jessee of Hotel Lights" and my ears perked up. A few of the YouTube concerts had comments mentioning Darren's solo work, but this band name was new to me. Dug into YouTube and found his songs and actual videos. It was pretty much an instant switch from BFF to DJ right then and there.

3-4
Began following Darren on All The Socials, and he mentioned an upcoming album, etc. He doesn't post much, but Instagram stories are the most common. One was just a photo of a book, which looks interesting. I get the book from the library and read it in one sitting, had a bit of a cry, read it again (and then later the audiobook because why not?). Followed Nic on Instagram, and learned Nic's wife Abby did the cover art for Darren's newest album.

4-5
Most of the time spent with Nic's book I was focused on the career shift stuff, not that he was in a band. HE WAS IN A BAND. IN CHAPEL HILL. Darren is mentioned both IN the book and in the acknowledgements at the end. Said band had a moderately successful late-90s hit. after too many weeks, I finally realized I needed to look up this band. Athenaeum. Found their hit song from their 20 year reunion show" in 2018, and the second that singer opened his mouth, it was all over. who is this man, and where has he been hiding. Turns out that's Mark Kano, the very Mark Kano that Nic started this band with back when Nic was still a very young teen. That's a voice with depth and range and damn where was I when this band was popular?? oh. right. Dig thought the Tubes of You, and get my paws on pretty much everything this band has released. sweet!

5-6
And while digging up All Things Athenaeum, I learn that Mark Kano has done solo work. Similar to Athenaeum, but more mature in other ways. Vocally, this dude's got range and potential - almost reminds me of someone who had done musical theater/broadway. quickly downloaded his stuff from Bandcamp

6-7
in watching Athenaeum, I noticed the other guitarist also sings, and seems to hold his own. Took a while to realize the guy in the early videos is one guy (Grey Brewster) and the bald guy in the later videos/reunion show is another (Mike Garrigan). On Bandcamp, Mark goes so far as to recommend Mike. so I check out Mike, and am immediately bowled over by his song Satellites. after a bunch of listens, I was prompted to buy the damn songs already, so I did. And last night, I posted to Instagram about it, forgetting that insta cross-posts to facebook, and this morning i discovered that Mike Garrigan himself liked that FB post. [just now, snagging the link to the post, I see he liked it on Instagram as well!]

And that, my friends, is how I find myself where I am today.
just_cyd: (Default)
It may not be expensive, but what will it cost?

Darren Jessee has a show coming up in Greensboro next month. The best I can tell, he's the opener, given the website info only features Tyler Ramsey.

I really want to go. Like, I've-nearly-booked-a-hotel/airbnb-already level of want.

Thing is, last time I jumped the gun, within a day of booking everything, other options came up which may have worked better. So, to stall a bit, let's break down the cost of this trip:

ticket - $20
gas - $125 (3 tanks of ~11gal @ $3.75/gal)
tolls - $30
hotel - $200 ($75-100/night with all the fees and crap not initially disclosed in listings)
food - $100

so, let's just call it $500. Do I have $500? of course not. In fact, do I not only NOT have that $500, I'm behind on a bunch of other bills, to the point that if I did have that kind of money not otherwise accounted for, it'd go towards those late bills.

Getting there would be driving, obviously. Flights would be well more than cost of gas and hotel, and I really don't care to cater to the whims of the airlines. my friend Ben said that tickets get cheap if you book within 24 hrs of departure, but I don't know if I'm willing to cut it that close.

Additional costs include the over-due oil change and tire rotation that Rover needs that may happen today, or maybe tomorrow, and the physical cost of doing nearly 1000 miles in three days. I have one vacation day not yet accounted for (i think!) that could be used to drive down on Friday, or as a recovery day on Monday. Or I could do The Crazy Thing and drive down Saturday morning, arriving in time for check-in. I mentioned that plan to a friend, and she immediately commented on how tired I would be, and would I even be able to enjoy the show? point taken.

my other dilemma is "why?" What is the purpose of doing this to myself? I'm still dealing with residual pain from the NY trip. What am I going to get out of this? Live music, yes. Seeing Darren perform for a 3rd time this year, and quite possibly with an actual crowd? that'd be cool. Would I get to see him and chat with him? How would I feel if he did not respond favorably to my presence? Am I going for the music or the person?

most importantly, where is Ben Folds playing that Thursday night?

Durham, NC

Sep. 9th, 2023 09:04 pm
just_cyd: (great leap)
While my trip to Durham was specifically to see Darren Jessee perform, the trip was so much more than that.
Read more... )
just_cyd: (Default)
I’ve talked about my trip to NC to see Darren Jessee perform, and then my follow up trip to NY to catch him on his summer tour, but I don’t think I ever quite got around to telling how that all came about.
Read more... )

i <3 NY

Aug. 3rd, 2023 07:00 pm
just_cyd: (Default)
I feel like i need a hashtag - "doing it for Darren" or "Darren made me do it"! No, Darren hasn't actually made me DO anything, but when he schedules a bunch of shows, and you see one that's only 700 miles away, you jump on it.
Read more... )

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