Just Cyd.

today was rough. all that came spewing forth after hotel breakfast and much needed sleep, interrupted by my belly and then my back/hip, both angry and screaming.

After that brain-dump, i was back in bed, calculating precisely how late I could put off things and still get to the club in time. Shower skipped, hair just barely tended to. lunch/dinner was cheese and crackers, harvest crisps, and M&Ms in the car. a pretty gnarly wreck slowed me down, but I still walked into the club before 7pm. in fact, I walked right into Zach and Matt! lovely conversation with them. Zach is always so genuinely happy to see me - an appreciation of my dedication to supporting them, nothing more.

Things are looking up.

is it like how they pump oxygen into casinos to keep everyone fueled? There's something about entering a music venue that seems to turn things around for me. Or is it that I can check out of reality for bit? whatever it is, I need it like a drug.

Django Haskins was amazing. he's got a song called Existential Seamstress. and, like all NC Musicians, he's just as warm and kind and everything else.

I grabbed some water and found a seat against the wall. I didn't get up for Darren's set, but should have. He saw me earlier, half smile of acknowledgement. his hair's getting long, and he did his set w/o his usual baseball hat. receding hairline, yeah, but no bald spot on top that I could see. It was nice to see his face while he sang.

pain was creeping up on me, halfway through Freedy Johnston's set require I stand, change positions. It also allowed me to drink more water. January in NC is seriously messed up, and 70s will mess you up good. Saw Darren and his friends at the bar, mental note, and hobbled back to stand closer to the stage and watch what happened next.

Freedy mostly took requests, which i've never encountered at a show.

bailed early. too much pain, but probably only a few songs early. it was raining steady, and the hobble to the parking deck got me good and soaked. I was in the very first spot in, but remembered the exit, so climbed a few levels to get the full effect of the tight circular exit. my own downward spiral

tomorrow I have to change hotels, moving from this nice Quality Suites in Graham to that Econo Lodge off I-40 in Durham, paid for with points, chosen as much for its affordability as its rating. Not terribly close to Wake Forest, but closer than Graham.

I know I'm tired, but I can feel the beginning of the descent into the pit of despair. Hoping to find a way to stave that off tomorrow, as I'll have a minimum of 4 hours to kill between hotels, and very little funds to work with. I have $50 set aside for gas for the drive home, and tonight's Waffle House splurge pretty much eliminated any other dining out. lots of snacks, a can of soup, and whatever I can score from hotel breakfast.

I'm not going to separate my venue review for this show, because the Moody Motel is a private residence! It's been a decade or two since I've been to a house concert, but they are increasingly popular with the small bands I'm seeing on all the socials. the hosts were fantastic, the event was in their front room, with room to move about in the kitchen and living room behind, so accessibility would've only been an issue had we arrived super-late and had to park far away. Lights were dim in the front and back rooms, with lots of candles (most electric) and other dim lighting to set the mood. I spied a kitty at one point, who was clearly not a fan of the crowd.

A house concert is nothing like a show at a bar. We were greeted by Jill, who welcomed us warmly and shared my joke about our mothers haunting us if we didn't do right as hostess and guest (her showing us around, and me producing the baked goods and beer to be shared). I'd been commenting on the Instagram posts, so once the word "cookies" was sounded, several people approached me to say hi and confirm i really DID drive in all the way from Ohio. A few were shocked to hear this was my 5th show of the year. One guy, Lance, pulled me aside and asked how I found out about Darren's shows, as he's yet to figure out how to get the info to come to him. I told him I stalk IG/FB and his website, but that the summer shows first appeared on Spotify. I joked that I was going to demand Darren let me take over his social media, but I wasn't 100% kidding.

The vibe was nice and chill, and eventually I saw Darren and Zach and waved hello, figuring we'd chat at some point. Many people were meeting them for the first time, and let's face it, we're old friends by now. heh. Ben was rather subdued, but introduced himself around, and the "where do you live?" game was played. He lives by a drive-in theater on the south side of town, which everyone immediately knew of. It was that or use the uber-racist name for the neighborhood. Eventually someone recognized his Pedro t-shirt du jour, and the two of them launched into Pedro-talk for quite a while.

At one point, Darren approached me and began talking about the book I'd given him, and how some friends of his spoke highly of her, and how much he enjoyed it. He's got such a soft voice that he's hard to hear in loud rooms, but it was a lovely conversation. He'd read Al Jolson, and talked about the chimp/gorilla that lied, and compared it to his line "I'm the boy who fell in and got the gorilla killed" -- the actual meaning being doing something for one reason but it having vastly different (bad) consequences. I chided him for the Harambe reference and confessed I have a very hard time seeing past the literal meaning of that line. I spoke a bit about how Hempel is the reason I write, and have been writing since I was a teen, and the challenges I have writing fiction. As always, there wasn't enough time, and he got pulled away by someone else.

Lance, another super-fan, had a box full of albums he wanted Darren to sign, but did not have with him the three that were for sale. He asked if I had paypal; I do. Then he asked if I had Venmo. I do. Darren was accepting Venmo (that's new), but Lance only had PayPal, so he asked if he could PayPal me the $$ for the albums, and I make the purchase via Venmo. I agreed. we completed the transaction, and I put in the note "for Lance, i promise!" and made him go tell Darren, so Darren wouldn't get mad at me. That was the first time I've ever seen Darren with his phone out, and it was just long enough to see the transaction, and then it was back into his pocket. an aside -- the cash price for his albums has always been $20. This is the first I've seen him take venmo, and I was happy to see the price increase, if only to cover the transaction fees associated with digital payments.

Then out of nowhere, Jay Gonzalez started playing. The show was a sell-out (40 people) and it got a little tight as we all moved forward to better hear and see. at one point, Jay had a tiny keyboard (smaller than a melodica) strapped to his guitar and was playing both. crazy. He didn't sound anything like Drive By Truckers, but I didn't hate it. after one song, he quipped "I'd always wanted to write a bosa nova about cunnilinguis" and the crowd lost it.

Eventually Darren and Zach took the floor, and Ben and I moved over to the side, on their right, to have a better view. I know that Darren often turns to look at Zach while playing, and when he plays his keyboard he'd be facing us, and that's what I wanted. Going into the show he was very calm and relaxed. He'd had a beer or two, and he really seemed to be vibing. At one point, he said "Zach, it's too quiet. Can someone grab something off a shelf and break it?" and we all chuckled. none of the bar background noise, no people coming and going, no TVs or loud conversations, just 40 people focused on the music. Some where there for Darren or Jay; others were there because they'd attended prior events and loved the atmosphere. either way, we all wanted to be there. Ben commented later that a few times Darren looked very please with himself, like he'd hit a chord/note just right, and had that look of bliss when things just line up perfectly. I have to agree. He got a little funky with the phrasing in a few songs which was nice to hear, loosening up a bit. Zach didn't have a microphone, so his harmonies weren't nearly as prominent, but he still added a lot to it. He played a song or two I'd not heard him play this year, but still no Wild Ascending Blue. I need to ask him about that; I'm guessing there's just not room in the Subaru for a 2nd acoustic guitar?

After the show we got to chat with Zach, and someone asked how he and Darren got connected. Zach had been hired to be a guitar tech for Hiss Golden Messenger when Darren was playing drums, and they toured together. sometiem after that, Darren called him up. Zach is in his own band, Canine Heart Sounds, where he plays keys and guitar and drums, plus sings. We talked with others that we hadn't seen prior to the show, and had many a good laugh with other fans. it was also quite apparent that the crowd was pretty queer-leaning, and the Moodys were queer-friendly. they had a rainbow flag in the main room with the words "abide no hatred" and the sign on the bathroom door was the one with "whatever, just wash your hands" on it. Ben loved it.

I'd told Ben prior to the show that his mission, if he was up for it, was to get a pic of me with Darren. I've never bothered to even ask up until now, but figured I could make my friend be The Bad Guy :) so finally, I have proof that I've met Darren Fucking Jessee. Ben only took the one shot, and Darren was mid-blink, but that's OK, there's other photos, and it was a perfect way to end the night.