(no subject)

[just_cyd]

i realized yesterday that i still have a LOT of unresolved baggage left over from my last failed relationaship ~ the one that ended 6 1/2 years ago. clearly, i've not let go of all the hurt, and i'm most definitely not ready for another relationship. and while i want a relationship, i know i'm not willing to put forth the effort required to make it work.

also realized that when having a shit week, forcing myself to have friends around and have fun really helps. friday night, i was ready to just call off the craft day, and spend the day brooding. i didn't, and i'm glad. it really did me a lot of good to have a house full of friends, fun and laughter. must do it more often.

having a clean house is nice, too. my living room looks fabulous, my kitchen looks pretty good, and my bathroom is off the "health hazard" list (just don't look at the tub!). my bedroom, well, it needs some attention. as does the basement. perhaps i'll get motivated enough today to do my laundry AND tackle a cleaning or organizational chore. i think i'll start with the hall closet. put on some good music and get to work.

Comments

[queensheba.livejournal.com]

I hope I didn't set you off by talking about abusive/oppressive men. I try not to come off sounding like a know-it-all since I've never been in that situation, but we all know sometimes I eat my foot! If it was me, I didn't mean to!

[just-cyd.livejournal.com]

oh no! it wasn't that at all! i've been comparing my shit job to an abusive relationship lately, especially when it comes to why it's taken me so long to get out. that, of course, reminds me of all the shit my ex put me through, which makes me realize how far i am from being willing/able/ready to have a healthy adult relationship with someone.